People don't understand people

I don't understand people..

lately, i've come across a few people. not really come across. hmm.. i come across people and meet people everyday. okay, basically just a few people that "caught my attention" and cause me to think and reflect...

first, is people whom i come across which are slightly not so helpful.. i'm not here to judge them la... ok? just here to share my opinions.. Lately, i've been struggling a bit with my photog assignment. photog was not as easy as i thought it was.. maybe because last time(before this module) i took photog as my hobby instead of looking at it as a homework!.. oh well, it's gonna end anyway.. haha... anyway, through this journey of "producing" photos i just came across people who were slightly not that helpful... i dont knw... mayb they have their own 苦中 and reason for not helping "me" bah.. but sometimes i find it unreasonable when my only request is to take only part of their legs or hands.. is it so hard? is it really so "embarrassing" to have your pics in my assignment? not even your face leh.. just your hands or legs..:)

second, i came across people who were totally opposite as the above.. hehe.. sometimes i just feel so grateful to have friends like them..(not that i'm not grateful for unhelpful friends.. i still believe that God place them in our lives for a reason to teach us)(:.. friends that are willing to sacrifice their time, money and energy despite whether they are free or busy.. sometimes, just feel so "paiseh" to ask them for more help.. knowing that they have helped "me" so much...

well, all i can say is.. it's not easy to understand why people react in different ways sometimes.. but, what i've learned through all this is to always look out for the interest of others- to regard others more important than myself. it's something easier said than done..

(;

Four months old

it's four months already...

four months studying in singapore

four months of examless studies

four months of being more independent

four months of "taking care of myself"

four months of "taking responsible of everything i have"

four months without parents during weekdays

four months of "spending money wisely"

four months of changes

four months of "trying" to adapt to the culture HERE!:s

four months of still keeping that faith growing

(not that i wanna give up)

four months of struggles

four months of living with different people

four months accepting different personalities

four months of a little more freedom without parents(haha)

four months of learning

four months of different educational system

four months of meeting with different people

four months of searching for a church

four months of good and bad exposure

four months of different challenges

four months of facing the lap top more

four months of maintaining old relationships in the same time building new ones

four months...

four months..

not easy.. AT ALL...

lion's den?

don't know why but every time when i am going back to Spore, i'll always think that i'm going back to the lions den. hahah...

is it really a lion's den?

a thought

Do we really mean what we say every time we say I MISS YOU!!! I REALLY REALLY MISS YOU???

*as for now, i really really really miss "d kluang" people...

taking comfort

Today while I was travelling back to Spore, I met Aiting at the train station.It was great or at least better to have a company to go back with me if not I'll be alone going back to Spore. That feeling of 'left outness' is not nice at all(if you know what I mean... What more I went back for a week already. Getting so comfortale in my comfort zone and now I've to return back to the new environment again). At least if I'm with a friend, i can "take comfort" that another person is also in the same boat as me.

But something just caught me thinking. Why did I 'take comfort' in a human being/ friend rather than taking comfort in God-Jesus-my Comforter? Why? It's not wrong to take comfort in someone who's in the same boat as me but.... Didn't I want to 'take comfort' in Jesus whom I know is and will be with me wherever I go? I don't need to feel left out of even feel lonely.... Or.... Whatever negative feelings.... This thing caught me thinking. Don't you think that it'll be a much greater comfort to know that God who is greater than anything else is before you/beside you and every where? This caught me thinking... This caught me thinking.... Why place my security in human beings?

the DooR

i stand by the door,
i neither go too far in, nor stay too far out,
the door is the most important door in the world--
it is the door through which men walk when they
find God.
there's no use by going way inside, and staying there,
when so many are sill outside and they, as much as i,
crave to know where the door is.
... the most tremendous thing in the world
is for men to find that door-- the door to God.
the most important thing any man can do
is to take hold of one of those blind, groping hands.
and put it on the latch--the latch that only clicks
and opens to man's own touch.
... so i stand by the door and wait.
for those who see it.
"i'd rather be a door-keeper" so i stand by the door.

to much to digest..

HEY! you might be wondering why am i here... still blogging, still at home and not in NS.. hehe... yah, true enough.. i'm still at home and i'm not sure when am i going back to my "2nd mission trip".

a lot has happened and is still happening in my life.... NS, decisions to make, things to consider and much much more... it's not easy at all... but i believe God will lead and guide if i look to Him:)..

anyways.. rewinding back.. i was in NS for 5 days.. it was a very different 5 days of my life.. the journey to tasik chini took about 4 hours ++... the journey was not that enjoying for me... smses kept coming in.. calls from people and loved ones... my words were "shaking" everytime when someone called... sometimes cant even control my tears...:P I MISS HOME.. it's hard and not pleasant at all when you're force to do something you dont like... but... it's about perspective... how i look at it....

the first two days of camp was mainly adapting to the campsite.. didnt have much activities but was tiring... not until the third day when we had to get up at 5 something and get ready at the padang kawat before 630am. but thank God that it was 630am in the morning if not if it's 12 noon i think we'll all melt. hehe...

ya, i made new friends.. friends that i think God had planned for me to meet up with because i think they were friends that were easy to get along with. *photos are om fb* the bunch of friends that i got to know eventually became my good friends there...

to sum it all up, i didnt regret experiencing my life in NS for 5 days... though it was a long five days for me, i believe it was a priviledge for me to be there. not everybody gets selected for NS. for me, NS is and was a very good opportunity to reach out... my camp only had 4 christians(1 wira and 3 wirawatis). out of the four including me, i knew one of them which is catherine. anyway, i pray and hope that they'll enjoy their stay in tasik chini and they'll come out as a stronger person:)...

to be honest, i actually came out of NS more stress than when i was in NS.. weird? hehe.. now i have decisions to make.. not those minor decisions but MAJOR ones which with change my life(maybe forever).i'm still on my way to decide between poly and f6...

lately.. i can say that.... it's really a lot to digest... and i hope my body can take it...

:) setadpu

it's been like a month or so since my last update...
a lots has happened..

i just came back from a class trip with my friends last week at Genting.
it was a really refreshing trip(maybe because the air there was much cooling and fresher:p).. catching up with friends...
basically.. i had lots of fun with them...
though only 17 of us made it.... numbers didn't matter...
i think it was a really good time spent together before we go our separate ways in future..
what i observed and realised through this whole trip was...
people change..
whether for the better or for the bad..
it's sad to see people(not pointing to a specific group of people) change for the bad...
how circumstances and time have changed their lives...
i think everyone of us will change especially during this period of time in life..:)
i just have to get use to it.... in the same time not change for the bad..


secondly was taking my SPM results... argh... i broke down a few minutes before i took my result slip.. i just couldn't tahan anymore... everybody was so kan chiong.... and it made me even more kan chiong...though i was telling my friends to calm down and all, inside me i was just like them.. i had HIGH expectation(for certain subjects). i was worried(i confess). but it was worth it letting out and it was tears of jOy after getting my results:). hehe...

NS is coming soon.... VERY SOON!! haih... so reluctant to leave home and my comfort zone.. but i thank Gos that i'm in the same camp as ahru:)... at least there's still someone from kluang that i can be with. so that i wont feel like a girl being thrown in the middle of an "island". anyway, talking and complaining so much no use de lah.. i still have to go.... haih...

that's all for now:)

january...

Hello! I’m back!:)
one month is gone again…
was it fruitful? Yes! I would say it was…
last month was a very different month for me..
I experienced a lot..
I was exposed to a lot of things..
I met with different people.. people with special needs… people whom I didn’t ever think would exist?
I didn’t leave home for such a long time before…
:)

Basically, I was sent to Bethany Home in Teluk Intan. It’s a home(school) for physically challenged kids. example: kids that are suffering from down’s syndrome, ADHD, slow learners, those mentally retarded and much more.. I didn’t go alone but was accompanied by Christina and Jasmine.:)

We started of our days with a 20 minutes morning devotion with the teachers at the Home. The morning devotions there were always very refreshing- a very appropriate way to start of the day. The first day itself I was reminded to always give my best in everything I do even till the very last minute. later after devotion, the kids will normally go for their morning walks and then exercise.

First time seeing and getting “in contact” with special kids was kind of scary cause my first impression of them was that they were “scary” people, they pull your hair and they shout out of a sudden. I was quite scared of them the first day I saw them but a teacher there explained to us some things about the kids that really comforted me.

I was asked to help out in a class the first day itself. After getting along with those kids for quite some time, my “fear level of them” decreased. They were not that scary as I thought they were at first. My perspective towards them changed. Hehe.. some were quite friendly.. they like to shake hands with you when they see you in the morning. Some will great you and even smile at you:). The little little things they do really encouraged me.

Basically, teaching the kids was the main thing we did there everyday except for weekends. Weekends there was a little boring. They don’t have sports, prayer meetings and yf there for us. We had the opportunity to join their CGs on Friday nights. I was and am very encouraged by the Christians there especially those who are in the Bethany ministry. Really encouraged to see how strong in faith they are. Their hunger and love for God is what I really need to learn from.We had Saturdays all for ourselves. As for Sundays, we joined two churches and help out at the worship service.

Looking and reflecting back.. there are some things I learned and was reminded of. The first thing I learned is that.. the kids in the Home are fearfully and wonderfully mad by God. They were made in His perfect image. It was not by mistake that God made them. It was not by accident. When God made them He said they were beautiful humans:). In God’s sight, their lives really matter to Him just like how our lives matter to His. I couldn’t believe at first when Psalm 139 stuck me just like that. Many a times, we “normal human” complain that we need to be taller, slimmer, cleverer, prettier.. etc.. etc.. but looking at these kids here.. what do they ask for? They hardly complain.. some cant even express themselves- all that comes out from their month are only words with “um..” “aa”. Pondering back, I really don’t deserve everything I have now. God could have just made the choice to make me into like one of those children. But He didn’t.. what more can I complain to Him about this and that in life?


I really salute the teachers in Bethany. spending and observing how they teach the kids for about 15 days really taught me a big lesson. The teachers have such GREAT patience and love for the kids. I can see that the teachers there have the heart for these kids. they don’t look down, abuse or even give up on the kids. they even laugh and have fun with them. Though some can be quite naughty and stubborn, I can see that the teacher and disciplining them with love in their heart:). I believe these teachers are really God’s blessing in the Home.


Going so far away from home for 15 days was really my first time. I missed home cooked food. I miss mummy’s, daddy’s and didi’s presence. I miss the yfers. I started to appreciated the little little things I always took for granted. Going so far took me out from my comfort zone. Attending a Methodist church was different. The way they conduct their worship service was different. Everything was different and new. I was not used to it at first. I stared to appreciate people here who have helped me in my spiritual life. It reminded me how important it is to be spiritually grounded in faith in a young age.

Another thing I learned there was I was there to serve and not.. to be served. It’s easy to think that when we’re at a “new” place, so we need others to serve us food, we need others to give us attention instead of we taking the initiative to ask and to serve others.

Phew.. I miss that place, the time I spent there with the kids. as I was on my journey back to kluang, I was kind of “bu she de” but in the same time I wanted to go back home cause I miss home. So.. I “posted” a question to God, I told Him: (I couldn’t express myself) how how?? What is this now? Is it going to end just like that? What about the kids there? How can I “contribute”(so called la) to them? The answer I got was: if you LOVE them, you can pray for them.” Whao! That comforted me so much la..!

To sum it all.. I enjoyed my journey this whole month. I really thank God for giving me this opportunity to join YMI 2010… I believe it was God’s plan.. cause I would have just ended up at some NS camp since I was selected. I’m truly thankful that God answered my prayer:). If I didn’t join YMI.. then.. I wouldn’t have met sweet people like Tirzah:P.. blur friend like choon khai.. batman jun hao.. jasmine tai tai.. wakaka Christina..quiet people like yi chiun and xin pei.. and most importantly the things that God wanted me to learn this one whole month… I was worried at first how things would work out this year… I thank God for seeing me through part of it.