learning from the King through a king

"O our God, will You not exercise judgment upon them? For we have no

might to stand against this great company that is coming against us.

We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon You."

2 Chronicles 20:12

When King Jehoshaphat saw the battles that was ahead of him, he went straight to seek God. He even called for the whole nation to fast and seek God. it's so encouraging rite? how wonderful it would be if "one day" the PM calls the whole nation to fast and pray for the country? how wonderful....

Though Jehoshaphat was a king, i'm truly amazed by his humble submission to God. though he was king, an earthy one, he recognised that there's a greater King above him that can solve his problem. He did not take the problem into his own hands. instead, what he did was he told God what he felt(2 chor 20:12).

Many a times, we take our problems into our own control. At least for me, i think i did it many times without realising until a certain problem drives me crazy and wears me out. Jehoshaphat's attitude towards handling his problem is something i think i need to learn from. i/we need to realise that "apart from Jesus we can do NOTHING"(John 15:5). i think it is when we truly let this verse sink deep down into our hearts that we'll truly understand that we can do nothing without him even if we did, i think we did it for the wrong purpose.

food for thought:)

one's eye

here are some photos that i've edited that i would like to share… enjoy viewing them:)…

i have come to realize that the colour temperature of a photo can actually bring different emotions. i tried playing around with the modes of the same photos and i've come to realize that it's actually quite interesting to see how these changes happen.

but to say honestly, i still prefer original photos. i don't like photos to be edited unless it's done in the camera(that means you change and set the mode you want and then take spontaneously). i find that it's a little cheating once the photos are edited. i remember when i was having my photography modules, my lecturer did not allow any editing and cropping of photos. though at first i was shocked and scared but come to think of it again i think what he said was true. because, once any editing is done to the photo it is somehow not original anymore:)… Still, though i've said that, i still appreciated those who can capture good moments of life.

The best camera in the world is one's eyes. The most beautiful photos are memories.

:)

bila?

sometimes i wonder when will i see it and never feel anything again?

*suffocating*

ended year one

HERE AM I. HERE I AM.

Tomorrow will be the last day of school.

Last day of the second semester.

Last day of my first year as a Diploma student.

Sitting back.

Turning my head back towards the road I have travelled.

One year, passed FAST.

ONE YEAR ENDED. ENDED YEAR ONE.

HOLIDAYS STARTS.

Not 7 BUT 77

It is totally hard to forgive someone...

who has done to you so much wrong....

someone whom you know their motives behind every question they ask and every action they do...

sometimes,

just don't feel like answering them...

because you know that your answers will only benefit them and cause you more frustrations.

it is totally hard to forgive someone...

whom is still able to laugh at you when you're the victim of their actions...

it is even harder to forgive someone..

when all others gossip about them.. but you choose not to take it their gossips.. sometimes don't even choose to listen what they gossip.. but yet those gossips keep floating in your mind causing hurt and unforgiveness to grow deeper.

Forgiving others is not easy... it is a humble act of worship... denying our prideful self and allowing God to restore relationships.

One once said, forgiveness is a commitment... and One even greater said,

"Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

Romans 12:17-21

He even said,

"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?

Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."

Matthew 18:21-22

reflection

wow…. looking back and reflecting on my week….. i really don't know what word to conclude it…

it was… hectic, no peace in mind, intensive, tedious… a "slightly" busy week….

before the week started, i really didn't know whether i could even make it till friday… call me having so little faith… *but Jesus said if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to the mulberry tree "be uprooted and planted in the sea", and it will obey you, right?* :P just joking…

yah, coming back to what i was mentioning, i really doubted whether i could make it… maybe, i wont be able to finish those assignments, maybe my lecturer won't approve my idea, maybe i won't have enough time for everything to be done… there were so many things going on in my head… doubts + stress… i remember, at an instance, i just broke down… i couldn't take it anymore…. all i wanted was to do it with His strength…. that He will truly sustain me through out the week… i thank God for people who comforted me and prayed for me…. it was really encouraging:)

i think through out the week.. God really did something unexpected… my lecturer extended the submission deadline for an assignment… though might seem that… aiyah, that's nothing la…. but i think that's the one thing that i was really grateful for….

and guess what? i really made it….!!! i still can't believe it… Praise God!

i've learnt, if you wanna help others, if you are really sincere in helping and meeting the needs of others when all others are busy… if you choose to pause from your work and help others who are in trouble, there's a sacrifice to make…. not a sacrifice that can be redeemed, but a sacrifice of a "large" amount of time… time was crucial, and it would mean whether you pass of fail you assignments…. that's a big sacrifice… it all goes back to a simple thing.. whether you're self-centered or others-centered.

太多不好太少也不好

有时候真的觉得自己想太多，

回头一看。。。

只想笑自己为什么想那么多。

哈哈。。 何佳敏。。

为什么这样傻？天真？

可是有时候是因为想多了才会谨慎一点

避免不必要的误会。。。

所以有时候想是能想，

可是！

太多不好太少也不好。。

社会

lately, I've come to really realise that the world is actually so 现实. not that i've not realise it previously but sometimes we need to experience it ourselves in order to understand the meaning of it. it's really a "sigh sigh sigh" every time i think of this. it's saddening how many people are forced to live according to the 现实ness.

it's sad how the world judge things. "you must be the top.... to get this". "you must be... in order to achieve this". "you must learn... to be famous". "if you don't.... you won't be accepted"... AH! the world at first simple and sweet like those of Adam's and Ave has become so complicated and corrupted. the world has change. changed! read through the first chapter of Genesis and you'll realise a huge difference.

i dont know whether others in other industries are affected. maybe it's more prominent in the so called design world. here(at least for now-the module that i'm doing where one of my assignment is where i need to go for an interview as if i'm applying for a job). well, i know this assignment would train my communication skills as a designer but it's also all about how well you promote yourself. how well you promote your portfolio and to sum it all up it depends on "the boss" whether he likes you, whether he thinks you're worth it to be employed. everything is so subjective. *actually, i think it's more complicated than this*

haih.....

*oh Lord, help me.

oh... and classes starts again today... haih....

*i miss home

People don't understand people

I don't understand people..

lately, i've come across a few people. not really come across. hmm.. i come across people and meet people everyday. okay, basically just a few people that "caught my attention" and cause me to think and reflect...

first, is people whom i come across which are slightly not so helpful.. i'm not here to judge them la... ok? just here to share my opinions.. Lately, i've been struggling a bit with my photog assignment. photog was not as easy as i thought it was.. maybe because last time(before this module) i took photog as my hobby instead of looking at it as a homework!.. oh well, it's gonna end anyway.. haha... anyway, through this journey of "producing" photos i just came across people who were slightly not that helpful... i dont knw... mayb they have their own 苦中 and reason for not helping "me" bah.. but sometimes i find it unreasonable when my only request is to take only part of their legs or hands.. is it so hard? is it really so "embarrassing" to have your pics in my assignment? not even your face leh.. just your hands or legs..:)

second, i came across people who were totally opposite as the above.. hehe.. sometimes i just feel so grateful to have friends like them..(not that i'm not grateful for unhelpful friends.. i still believe that God place them in our lives for a reason to teach us)(:.. friends that are willing to sacrifice their time, money and energy despite whether they are free or busy.. sometimes, just feel so "paiseh" to ask them for more help.. knowing that they have helped "me" so much...

well, all i can say is.. it's not easy to understand why people react in different ways sometimes.. but, what i've learned through all this is to always look out for the interest of others- to regard others more important than myself. it's something easier said than done..

(;

Four months old

it's four months already...

four months studying in singapore

four months of examless studies

four months of being more independent

four months of "taking care of myself"

four months of "taking responsible of everything i have"

four months without parents during weekdays

four months of "spending money wisely"

four months of changes

four months of "trying" to adapt to the culture HERE!:s

four months of still keeping that faith growing

(not that i wanna give up)

four months of struggles

four months of living with different people

four months accepting different personalities

four months of a little more freedom without parents(haha)

four months of learning

four months of different educational system

four months of meeting with different people

four months of searching for a church

four months of good and bad exposure

four months of different challenges

four months of facing the lap top more

four months of maintaining old relationships in the same time building new ones

four months...

four months..

not easy.. AT ALL...

lion's den?

don't know why but every time when i am going back to Spore, i'll always think that i'm going back to the lions den. hahah...

is it really a lion's den?

a thought

Do we really mean what we say every time we say I MISS YOU!!! I REALLY REALLY MISS YOU???

*as for now, i really really really miss "d kluang" people...

taking comfort

Today while I was travelling back to Spore, I met Aiting at the train station.It was great or at least better to have a company to go back with me if not I'll be alone going back to Spore. That feeling of 'left outness' is not nice at all(if you know what I mean... What more I went back for a week already. Getting so comfortale in my comfort zone and now I've to return back to the new environment again). At least if I'm with a friend, i can "take comfort" that another person is also in the same boat as me.

But something just caught me thinking. Why did I 'take comfort' in a human being/ friend rather than taking comfort in God-Jesus-my Comforter? Why? It's not wrong to take comfort in someone who's in the same boat as me but.... Didn't I want to 'take comfort' in Jesus whom I know is and will be with me wherever I go? I don't need to feel left out of even feel lonely.... Or.... Whatever negative feelings.... This thing caught me thinking. Don't you think that it'll be a much greater comfort to know that God who is greater than anything else is before you/beside you and every where? This caught me thinking... This caught me thinking.... Why place my security in human beings?

the DooR

i stand by the door,
i neither go too far in, nor stay too far out,
the door is the most important door in the world--
it is the door through which men walk when they
find God.
there's no use by going way inside, and staying there,
when so many are sill outside and they, as much as i,
crave to know where the door is.
... the most tremendous thing in the world
is for men to find that door-- the door to God.
the most important thing any man can do
is to take hold of one of those blind, groping hands.
and put it on the latch--the latch that only clicks
and opens to man's own touch.
... so i stand by the door and wait.
for those who see it.
"i'd rather be a door-keeper" so i stand by the door.

to much to digest..

HEY! you might be wondering why am i here... still blogging, still at home and not in NS.. hehe... yah, true enough.. i'm still at home and i'm not sure when am i going back to my "2nd mission trip".

a lot has happened and is still happening in my life.... NS, decisions to make, things to consider and much much more... it's not easy at all... but i believe God will lead and guide if i look to Him:)..

anyways.. rewinding back.. i was in NS for 5 days.. it was a very different 5 days of my life.. the journey to tasik chini took about 4 hours ++... the journey was not that enjoying for me... smses kept coming in.. calls from people and loved ones... my words were "shaking" everytime when someone called... sometimes cant even control my tears...:P I MISS HOME.. it's hard and not pleasant at all when you're force to do something you dont like... but... it's about perspective... how i look at it....

the first two days of camp was mainly adapting to the campsite.. didnt have much activities but was tiring... not until the third day when we had to get up at 5 something and get ready at the padang kawat before 630am. but thank God that it was 630am in the morning if not if it's 12 noon i think we'll all melt. hehe...

ya, i made new friends.. friends that i think God had planned for me to meet up with because i think they were friends that were easy to get along with. *photos are om fb* the bunch of friends that i got to know eventually became my good friends there...

to sum it all up, i didnt regret experiencing my life in NS for 5 days... though it was a long five days for me, i believe it was a priviledge for me to be there. not everybody gets selected for NS. for me, NS is and was a very good opportunity to reach out... my camp only had 4 christians(1 wira and 3 wirawatis). out of the four including me, i knew one of them which is catherine. anyway, i pray and hope that they'll enjoy their stay in tasik chini and they'll come out as a stronger person:)...

to be honest, i actually came out of NS more stress than when i was in NS.. weird? hehe.. now i have decisions to make.. not those minor decisions but MAJOR ones which with change my life(maybe forever).i'm still on my way to decide between poly and f6...

lately.. i can say that.... it's really a lot to digest... and i hope my body can take it...

:) setadpu

it's been like a month or so since my last update...
a lots has happened..

i just came back from a class trip with my friends last week at Genting.
it was a really refreshing trip(maybe because the air there was much cooling and fresher:p).. catching up with friends...
basically.. i had lots of fun with them...
though only 17 of us made it.... numbers didn't matter...
i think it was a really good time spent together before we go our separate ways in future..
what i observed and realised through this whole trip was...
people change..
whether for the better or for the bad..
it's sad to see people(not pointing to a specific group of people) change for the bad...
how circumstances and time have changed their lives...
i think everyone of us will change especially during this period of time in life..:)
i just have to get use to it.... in the same time not change for the bad..


secondly was taking my SPM results... argh... i broke down a few minutes before i took my result slip.. i just couldn't tahan anymore... everybody was so kan chiong.... and it made me even more kan chiong...though i was telling my friends to calm down and all, inside me i was just like them.. i had HIGH expectation(for certain subjects). i was worried(i confess). but it was worth it letting out and it was tears of jOy after getting my results:). hehe...

NS is coming soon.... VERY SOON!! haih... so reluctant to leave home and my comfort zone.. but i thank Gos that i'm in the same camp as ahru:)... at least there's still someone from kluang that i can be with. so that i wont feel like a girl being thrown in the middle of an "island". anyway, talking and complaining so much no use de lah.. i still have to go.... haih...

that's all for now:)

january...

Hello! I’m back!:)
one month is gone again…
was it fruitful? Yes! I would say it was…
last month was a very different month for me..
I experienced a lot..
I was exposed to a lot of things..
I met with different people.. people with special needs… people whom I didn’t ever think would exist?
I didn’t leave home for such a long time before…
:)

Basically, I was sent to Bethany Home in Teluk Intan. It’s a home(school) for physically challenged kids. example: kids that are suffering from down’s syndrome, ADHD, slow learners, those mentally retarded and much more.. I didn’t go alone but was accompanied by Christina and Jasmine.:)

We started of our days with a 20 minutes morning devotion with the teachers at the Home. The morning devotions there were always very refreshing- a very appropriate way to start of the day. The first day itself I was reminded to always give my best in everything I do even till the very last minute. later after devotion, the kids will normally go for their morning walks and then exercise.

First time seeing and getting “in contact” with special kids was kind of scary cause my first impression of them was that they were “scary” people, they pull your hair and they shout out of a sudden. I was quite scared of them the first day I saw them but a teacher there explained to us some things about the kids that really comforted me.

I was asked to help out in a class the first day itself. After getting along with those kids for quite some time, my “fear level of them” decreased. They were not that scary as I thought they were at first. My perspective towards them changed. Hehe.. some were quite friendly.. they like to shake hands with you when they see you in the morning. Some will great you and even smile at you:). The little little things they do really encouraged me.

Basically, teaching the kids was the main thing we did there everyday except for weekends. Weekends there was a little boring. They don’t have sports, prayer meetings and yf there for us. We had the opportunity to join their CGs on Friday nights. I was and am very encouraged by the Christians there especially those who are in the Bethany ministry. Really encouraged to see how strong in faith they are. Their hunger and love for God is what I really need to learn from.We had Saturdays all for ourselves. As for Sundays, we joined two churches and help out at the worship service.

Looking and reflecting back.. there are some things I learned and was reminded of. The first thing I learned is that.. the kids in the Home are fearfully and wonderfully mad by God. They were made in His perfect image. It was not by mistake that God made them. It was not by accident. When God made them He said they were beautiful humans:). In God’s sight, their lives really matter to Him just like how our lives matter to His. I couldn’t believe at first when Psalm 139 stuck me just like that. Many a times, we “normal human” complain that we need to be taller, slimmer, cleverer, prettier.. etc.. etc.. but looking at these kids here.. what do they ask for? They hardly complain.. some cant even express themselves- all that comes out from their month are only words with “um..” “aa”. Pondering back, I really don’t deserve everything I have now. God could have just made the choice to make me into like one of those children. But He didn’t.. what more can I complain to Him about this and that in life?


I really salute the teachers in Bethany. spending and observing how they teach the kids for about 15 days really taught me a big lesson. The teachers have such GREAT patience and love for the kids. I can see that the teachers there have the heart for these kids. they don’t look down, abuse or even give up on the kids. they even laugh and have fun with them. Though some can be quite naughty and stubborn, I can see that the teacher and disciplining them with love in their heart:). I believe these teachers are really God’s blessing in the Home.


Going so far away from home for 15 days was really my first time. I missed home cooked food. I miss mummy’s, daddy’s and didi’s presence. I miss the yfers. I started to appreciated the little little things I always took for granted. Going so far took me out from my comfort zone. Attending a Methodist church was different. The way they conduct their worship service was different. Everything was different and new. I was not used to it at first. I stared to appreciate people here who have helped me in my spiritual life. It reminded me how important it is to be spiritually grounded in faith in a young age.

Another thing I learned there was I was there to serve and not.. to be served. It’s easy to think that when we’re at a “new” place, so we need others to serve us food, we need others to give us attention instead of we taking the initiative to ask and to serve others.

Phew.. I miss that place, the time I spent there with the kids. as I was on my journey back to kluang, I was kind of “bu she de” but in the same time I wanted to go back home cause I miss home. So.. I “posted” a question to God, I told Him: (I couldn’t express myself) how how?? What is this now? Is it going to end just like that? What about the kids there? How can I “contribute”(so called la) to them? The answer I got was: if you LOVE them, you can pray for them.” Whao! That comforted me so much la..!

To sum it all.. I enjoyed my journey this whole month. I really thank God for giving me this opportunity to join YMI 2010… I believe it was God’s plan.. cause I would have just ended up at some NS camp since I was selected. I’m truly thankful that God answered my prayer:). If I didn’t join YMI.. then.. I wouldn’t have met sweet people like Tirzah:P.. blur friend like choon khai.. batman jun hao.. jasmine tai tai.. wakaka Christina..quiet people like yi chiun and xin pei.. and most importantly the things that God wanted me to learn this one whole month… I was worried at first how things would work out this year… I thank God for seeing me through part of it.

year end happenings

SPM
Looking back.. I still cant believe how I actually got through those four weeks of exams… phew… four weeks is not like four days but 28 days lieh… God was really great and faithful during my exam.. I believe He’s the One that sustained me.. carried me.. and rescued me through those days…. He brought me through the dreadful and wearisome time… He brought me through the high and low tides… especially during my bm and bk paper… I just felt so nervous.. bm maybe it’s because it was the first paper… couldn’t concentrate for the first 15 to 20 minutes.. ugh… but after that… I could concentrate like as if I was doing my normal exam paper:). Bk… I was nervous… I was/ am scared that I will failed Him again.. fail as in getting results like a C or B… I want His name to be glorified and I wanna be a good testimony to my friends around…. I still dunno what my results will be… but if I really didn’t get what I expected then.. it.. is… ok…..



After SPM.. (band practices)
It’s always fun and enjoyable to have band practices together… singing and playing and exercising our talents… but I was reminded again and again to not take this whole thing as a performance… as a show to human beings… as a time to be proud about how well I can play or maybe as a time to gain praise from others… but instead as a worship pleasing to God… sad to say… all these are always easier said than done… anyways….. you all really did a GREAT GREAT job!:)



“Undang-undang kursus”
I was left alone with strangers in the “ceramah room” all because I went in different cars with my other friends and took the “nombor” too early… ugh… I felt so horrible at first… why must I be left alone while my other friends can be together? Haha… but after thinking back…. It was not that scary at all… maybe this I just the beginning… I’ve to face more of all these things in future:p…



Caroling
:D…really look forward to caroling every year… dunno why… maybe it’s the people that made this whole event more joyous… singing carols… chit chatting… going up and down the bus… laughing… playing tambourine… teasing each other… praying for families… blessing the community…taking pictures… being ah long collecting money(:p) whao… so much more to name out… really had a woderrrffuuulll time…



One Joy One Kluang…
Everything turned upside down on the morning of 24th. In my heart I was praying that the rain would stop… if not now then later… I truly believe that God heard our prayers… and indeed the rain STOPPED:). Praise God!! Dancing with such a “big” crowd in front of me was my first experience…. The AIYAH dancers did a good job!!



CHRISTMAS IS A TIME TO LOVE



After Christmas..
Got the opportunity again to catch up with my school friends… we went bowling and steam bot-ting… glad to see some of them… our hottest topic we chatted about was what our future plans were.. some said engineering.. some nursing.. some teaching.. some mass com(ing)… and much more…



The year is coming to an end… looking back… it was really a tiring… stressful… happy… pretty.. wonderful… amazing 2009.. many sweet memories to be remembered… many experiences that I’ve been challenged… many people that I’ve come across of that I need to be THANKFUL of… many fearsss that I’ve overcome(d).. many scoldingss(parents and teachers) that I’ve faced… many undesirable problems that we(5sc1) had to go through… and… the list goes on… hehe...

Treasures in Jars of Clay

In a basketball or netball game, attempts to throw the ball into the "basket" are not always successful. oftentimes, the one who attempts to score misses and he ball bounces off the rim. there is no time for the team to moan and wallow in regrets. in split seconds someone else on the team lunges towards the stray ball and makes another attempt. a successful second attempt brings applause but if this try fails too, there will be yet another effort made to score.

our lives are often like these ball games. we aim for success but are sometimes failed in our attempts to be good and righteous. we are sorely tempted to give up but Paul reminds us not to throw up our hands in despair in the face of opposition. believers can find themselves hard-pressed, perplexed, persecuted and struck down but these tests are opportunities to experience the strength of the Lord in their lives.

Paul likens us to clay jars-fragile in the face of the storms of life. but the resilience of believers lies in the power that in theirs because of the death of Jesus on the cross and in the treasure of His abiding presence in their lives. moments of greatest human weakness are also moments when God's power in most gloriously expressed.

hmm.... these article was one of my QT material few months back... i wanted to post it... but didnt have the chance until now:).

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"Dependence on God is not a sign of weakness but is only the way to see more achieved through us than we will ever hope to accomplish on our own"